"What Do I Know of Holy?"

My fellow readers, please forgive my lack of writing recently. Alas, here is my words of encouragement to you for today:

During the amount of time I have not been writing, God has been teaching me a whole lot. God has been stripping me down to the core and reminding me of just who I am recently. Here is one example:


The other day, I was in the car with my brother, and he was playing a new CD he got for Christmas. These lyrics caught my ear. (It's long so bear with me)

"I made You promises a thousand times. I tried to hear from heaven, but I talked the whole time. I think I made You too small. I never feared You at all, no. If You touched my face, would I know You? Looked into my eyes, could I be whole to You?
What do I know of You, who spoke me into motion? Where have I even stood, but the shore along Your ocean? Are You fire? Are You fury? Are You sacred? Are You beautiful? What do I know of holy?
I guess I thought that I had figured You out. I knew all the stories and I learned about how You were mighty to save - but those were only empty words on a page. Then I caught a glimps of who You might be, the slighest hint of You, brought me down to my knees.
What do I know of holy? What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame, and a God who gave life it's name? What do I know of holy of the one who the angels praise, all creation knows Your name on earth and heaven above? What do I know of this love?" -Addison Road

For so long, I had been taking God and belittling Him. I made God some fairy tail to me, took out the parts of the Bible I didn't want to listen to; the parts that challenged me to change, the parts of Jesus' anguish, the parts that kind of freak me out. I took God and made Him into just who I wanted Him to be.

If I wanted a friend, God would be a best friend.
If I wanted God to be comfort, that's who He was.

I made God all the time, just who I wanted to be. I have sat down so many times, sure of the fact I had figured God out, I knew each and every detial about Him. How wrong was I in my thinking? I kind of made God into this big forgiving God, made His forgiveness, my excuse for contining down the road I was going.

How true to earth is that song? I found myself humbled listening to that song. I honestly am not sure if God walked down the street, or looked me in the eye and talked to me if I would know who He was, cause I'm sure He is way more than I ever expected Him to be.

I know nothing of God's holiness. I cannot fathom Christ's death on the cross. I'm not always a fan of what God is asking me to do - why? - I should be.

I know all the stories and just the right words to say when someone asks a question to appear to be the "perfect little Christian". Infact, I have been told time and time again how strong I am in my faith, but that should not in any way stop me from continue to grow in that faith. There is always so much more to learn from God - the one who spoke the world into motion, created me, cares about each person, gave up His own son to die in my place, for something I do not deserve.

A sidenote on that, another thing that hit me, is how often I look at the cross without looking at it in detail. The God of the universe, who for no reason had to, CHOOSE to give up His only son to come and die for me. And that same Son, took all of the mess of me and put it onto Him, so that one day I could be with God in heaven. I do not deserve that. I am way too sinful to deserve to ever be able to be in a relationship with God, I've messed up so many times, but yet He looks at me and says I'm FORGIVEN, for not just a couple things, but for EVERYTHING I have ever done and EVERYTHING I am going to do in the future. If I don't look at Him and thank Him time and time again for that, I am missing out on what a blessing that truely is.

God is so much more than anything we can fathom. I know for sure my mind can't wrap around God. :) So, I want to challenge you today, to sit back, remember just who Christ is, and be in awe of what God is each and everyday to you. For He is an amazing God.

In a Dark, Cold and Lifeless World

I sat and wondered
What am I supposed to do?
In a dark and oh so cold world
The beast of darkness surrounds
Tormenting those I found untouchable
Strong enough to fight him off was my very own thought
But there I was wrong

The darkness of pain
The shiver of hopelessness
The aching hearts full of chronic confusion
The world I found so perfect
Is now full of more bitterness than I expected

Yet in this world we are taught how to survive
The means of survival in a world that doesn't desire others
We are taught to fight each battle on our own
As if our human nature forces us to do so

We find ourselves walking down a path so full of destruction
Unsure of just how to get back to where we always thought we would be
Our dreams - gone
Our hopes - vanished
Our life - lifeless

So we push through each day
Unsure of finding a light at the end of the tunnel
Yet knowing it's somehow supposed to exist
In our dark, cold and lifeless world

Silent tears and unanswered prayers
Questions without answers
Hearts breaking in two and then four

When will we see we aren't supposed to do this alone?
When will our world find we are supposed to be a team?
There to encourage, there to love, there to walk with
When will our world find that weakness is not a bad thing?
And frankly admitting to it is a step to a better tomorrow

But in this dark and oh so cold world, can we find that hope?
Can we walk together and find this is not all that it has to be?
Can we find that a better tomorrow is coming?
Can we press on? Form a team? Make it through?
Or must we fight alone
In this dark, cold and lifeless world

*CopyWrongDecember2009